"No Money, No Honey"

If a Chinese man wants to marry, a cultural prerequisite is buying an apartment--and they don't come cheap! I've learned recently through talking with friends that the parents of women very rarely allow their daughters to marry a man who does not own a home.

From a parents perspective, I can understand not wanting to let your only child, your baby girl marry someone who does not have financial security. After all, women are in a premium position here in Shanghai where there is an abundant supply of men and a relatively lower supply of women. This, however, highlights another fascinating aspect of Chinese culture: intrusive parents.

Parents have an extraordinary involvement with their kids lives--to the point of deciding marriages--and they typically live with their kids when they get older. As a result, I've noticed many women lack autonomy in making decisions, and this is compounded by the fact that many young women still live with their parents to keep costs down.

This is only the tip of the iceberg regarding parental involvement in children's lives, and it gives me an appreciation for the tremendous pressure Chinese men have to earn money so that they can buy a home, and then get married.